"Longhorn," 6" x 16", acrylic on museum quality panel, depicting some sort of long horned cattle (I clearly do not know my bovine breds!!), a new subject matter for me! $299 to the first one asking nicely.
It's getting to be a struggle to work at my easel and feel like my dailies are fresh and valuable. I'm nearing completion of 1400 Painting a Dog a Day paintings, and I suspect the walls are closing in on me.
It's not that I want to change what I'm doing - I am passionate about my job - but I do want to change what I'm doing.
I have been thinking a lot about authenticity. I can ignore the niggling voices in my head and slip more challenging paintings (like the dogs and water pieces or paintings of cows) into my rotation and not say a word.
But part of the whole Painting a Dog a Day project has been sharing the struggles (and victories) along the way. And while I have always been honest about many things (like throwing out/painting over unsuccessful paintings), I haven't confronted my recent and serious lack of motivation.
I'm not clear that what I want to paint (which is all still very much muddled in my head and unarticulated) is something I can complete in one day. But I do very much want to continue to stand at my easel daily.
I need to find a way to continue to push my own artistic boundaries and to continue to make art that is exciting and fulfilling.
So I am trying to embrace this juncture, but feeling very vulnerable and as a consequence, terrified. If I don't venture out, I fear my muse will shrivel up altogether. And yet, if I venture out, what will I do? more cows?
It's a leap of faith, and I'll eventually leap. Unless someone wants to push me first. Or leap with me.
Any takers?
Kim, who is quivering in her Wonder Woman converse
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The cover of "A Dog Named Blue," now available from Blurb publishers. When I first painted Amelia I never imagined that she would be re-christened "Blue" and inspire a book. In her defense, Amelia had a number of other partners in crime - animals who's portraits seemed to fall into a specific color category and prompt color-centric names. In typical ADD fashion, my brain started spinning 100mph. What if I turned those muses' paintings into a picture book for animal loving kids? I shared my idea with three friends in the industry, and they eagerly offered their expertise. I am truly indebted to them. Illustrator and author Matt Faulkner and children's book author and literacy expert Kristen Remenar edited an early version of the draft. They suggested key plot/conceptual changes that made it oodles better. Designer Elizabeth St. Hilaire Nelson worked her magic, pairing the images with perfectly color...
Bonjour,
ReplyDeleteJe comprends votre ressentiment... Parfois on entre dans une telle phase de questionnements...
Cela m'arrive aussi. Il est vrai que parfois on a cette impression de se cantonner dans ce qu'on parviens à faire et qui nous semble de moins en moins compliqué. On veut révolutionner ça ! comme si cette simplicité qui s'offre à nous nous devienne un acte presque de insuffisant ou plutôt un acte de non saveur... Une envie de brouter ailleurs... comme peut-être votre vache !!!
Il est bon aussi d'avoir à se remettre en question, sans toutefois oublier qui nous sommes réellement et qui fait notre identité.
Gros bisous à vous
Elle est belle votre bête à cornes!
Yes, I suppose questioning my direction - and purpose - is really the root of where I stand now. And what freedom, to be able to ask - and CHOOSE - where to go!! This should be a joyous venture. At least that's what I'm telling myself, Martine!! How did you resolve your own conflict? I'm curious...... and thank you!!
DeleteJe n'ai pas vraiment de recette car finalement nous avons notre propre écriture...
DeleteOn peut choisir d'écrire d'une autre couleur, de choisir un autre crayon, un autre papier... mais notre idéogramme sera le même. Mais une pointe de fantaisie parfois cela fait du bien!
Je pense que la vie s'arrange pour nous faire évoluer sans que l'on s'en rende compte...
Alors comme un bon vin laissez mûrir!
gros bisous
Love your wine analogy - yes, we must evolve. Each with our own journey and nuances of taste. Happy creating, Martine!
DeleteI just noticed on your sidebar that you are reading "Daring Greatly" Seems like a perfect book for you right now. Do whatever you want. You've already done the hard work, committed yourself to a goal and completed it. You are a skilled, amazing artist-everyone knows that. Feel free to experiment and try all kinds of things. I think it will be fascinating to watch you develop as an artist.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Chris, for the compliments. I am enjoying the book, but think that Brene Brown is more inspirational to hear speak (via her Ted talks and other online links) - maybe I'm not deep enough into the book yet. She has some incredible ideas and I am happy to be reading her at this particular juncture in my life!! All my best! Kim
DeleteSimply by showing up at your easel you are victorious. Trust yourself - be courageous and try anything that lights you up. I think questioning is a great exercise at various times in our lives. Without questioning where we are right now how would we ever go anywhere else?
ReplyDeleteIt is a new thing for me to embrace the discomfort that my questions are bringing, but I agree wholeheartedly, Robyn. Another friend told me that this process is like childbirth, and that while it comes with pain, there is immeasurable reward at the end. Thanks!!
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