My day starts off fabulously – after the kids' being on vacation and enjoying 6 snow days, their buses show up moderately on time and they are off to school! After 3 weeks of entertaining, I had an ambitious to-do list that included phone calls, connecting with clients, preparing for lectures and a new workshop, and mapping out several non-painting related design projects. I brewed a strong cup of tea and got to work.
And somehow the hours slipped away – it seemed like in minutes kids were back home, there were carpools to run, dinner to cook, laundry to do – and the brushes never got touched.
In the past I would have beat myself up over this and scrambled to do at least a small painting while the kids tackled homework. But tonite I took a deep breath and asked how I could help them. I worked with The Princess for a little on a project, reviewed some paperwork with The Man Child, and packed lunches alongside The Caped Crusader. And didn't rush into the studio.
It's hard to keep my OCD Perfectionist quiet. “But you're a daily painter!!!!” she cries. But tonight I don't listen to her rant. Because, really, every day there is something I've not done well enough. And she doesn't hesitate to point it out. Loudly.
I may not get to the paint tomorrow either. This weekend the Princess has her first dance competition of the season and we're not yet packed. I would LOVE to paint, because it's my therapy time - painting will position me to be more tolerant while surrounded by hundreds of stressed and hyped up teenage girls and insanely loud, pulsing music all weekend long. But the reality is that I might not get to. And I have to embrace that, or the weekend becomes laced with stress and guilt instead of packed with fun and laughter.
I may forget my toothbrush, but I WILL have my Art First Aid Kit packed (watercolors, pencils, a couple sketch books, markers). And chocolate. And wine. And my sense of humor.
Because the whole reason I am a working artist is so that I can be here with my kids, experiencing their lives right alongside them. In real time. And sometimes that means I have to tell my Inner Critic to go to hell.
“I am SO a daily painter,” I told her earlier tonite. “Just somedays I paint in my mind, and store things up for later.”
I wonder how long that will keep her quiet.......
Thanks for following along with my artwork!
Kim
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